My Friend's Free Haircut

I'm sorry Bill, but you looked hillarious..

chrispaul10: how short?
SuperBilly35: just the mullet
SuperBilly35: i look like a girl
SuperBilly35: an uber girl
SuperBilly35: like erin
SuperBilly35: only if i had erin's hair id be happy
chrispaul10: hah umm...
SuperBilly35: dude you havnt seen mine
SuperBilly35: its awful
chrispaul10: haha i cant wait
chrispaul10: ill come see it tomorrow

My One Liner Week

mikekoleary: i hang out in banana hammocks on my floor

tool ratm 4: because im scared that one day....you'll eat me
chrispaul10: i dont think you have to worry about that pat

My One Liner Week

mikekoleary: things go out of the nose and the anus
mikekoleary: not in
mikekoleary: that's what i live by

tool ratm 4: my mom just saw ur swings movie and she said..."oh that chris paul, hes crazy, but hes harmless, and thank god hes harmless or we'd be in trouble"

My Naive Notions

I would just like to let you all know that the ads on the bottom and side of this site have been removed because my google adsense account was deleted. Apparently these guys know what they're doing and caught on to our little operation. Thanks for the support anyway.

-ChrisPaul-

My One Liner Week

I found a bunch of little conversations that were each too short for a real post, so for the next week will feature two quotes a day..

chrispaul1588: ur a doll
mike k oleary: better believe it
chrispaul1588: ...

johnny ARR: now saved by the smell featuring dustin "screech" diamond, in smell o vision
johnny ARR: thats quite an experience

My Second Five Minutes of Fame

I guess I put myself in these situations..

AhLiNsIDer: Yo beitch
chrispaul10: ...
AhLiNsIDer: Y are u always online i tghought u was always busy
chrispaul10: who is this
AhLiNsIDer: jon
chrispaul10: jon who
AhLiNsIDer: Smith
AhLiNsIDer: Dude comeon u know me
chrispaul10: no i dont
AhLiNsIDer: u from ca right?
chrispaul10: nope
AhLiNsIDer: Dang, well i know a Chris Paul and my friend gave me this s/n.
AhLiNsIDer: damn
chrispaul10: well its not me
AhLiNsIDer: are you the actor
chrispaul10: what actor
AhLiNsIDer: Ok, on this celebrity screename website there was a post and it had yor s.n on it so i just figured you were famous or something
chrispaul10: i never said i wasnt famous...
AhLiNsIDer: its cool. i was just wondering. what do ya do
chrispaul10: direct
AhLiNsIDer: direct?
chrispaul10: movies
AhLiNsIDer: wow-really. i am going to college for that
chrispaul10: thats cool
AhLiNsIDer: what have you dirrected?
chrispaul10: ohh a bunch of things, how old are you?
AhLiNsIDer: 19
AhLiNsIDer: freshman in college
chrispaul10: what college?
AhLiNsIDer: University of Toledo.. Its not the best, but it will do.
AhLiNsIDer: Toledo, OH
AhLiNsIDer: Home of the Rockets
chrispaul10: hmm, i think i was a guest speaker there a few years ago, who's your film professor?
AhLiNsIDer: Wow really.. We have a new one, Bob Keialer
AhLiNsIDer: what is your age
chrispaul10: 34
chrispaul10: next time you're in class ask him about me, see if anyone remembers

AhLiNsIDer: hi...i asked my lab instructor and he didnt know who u were
chrispaul10: was it embarassing?
AhLiNsIDer: yeah
AhLiNsIDer: I know you're just some fake asshole now
chrispaul10: :-D
AhLiNsIDer: Haha, its hillarious!

My Cat Food

I don't know, Bill, I don't know..

SuperBilly35: so my little brother is in the kitchen watching cartoon network
SuperBilly35: and there is two little boys trying on bras
SuperBilly35: and they think it's "battle armor"
SuperBilly35: this explains a lot
chrispaul10: ...

My Next Four Years

Sorry Reen* but TU has no religious affiliation..

johnny ARR: hows the matzah and latkes at temple
chrispaul1588: they wouldnt let me in cuz i didnt cover my head
johnny ARR: oh you
johnny ARR: do you have a yamaka yet
chrispaul1588: yeah they gave them out with a big TU on the top
johnny ARR: lmfao

My Friends Never Change

BU only accepts the nation's best and brightest..

Devils1867: yo, tub girl comes up in convo in my room like every other night
chrispaul1588: haha same here but with meat spin
Devils1867: hahaha
Devils1867: charlie, the guy who lives next to me, told us that tubgirl gave him his first erection
Devils1867: haha, he was completely kidding but it was hilarious
chrispaul1588: hahahah, this kid actually told us yesterday that his dad caught him looking at that
Devils1867: hahaha holy shit

My Cannibalism

You are what you eat..

pantherfive88: guess what
chrispaul10: what
pantherfive88: my mom made apple crisp for me!
chrispaul10: cool
pantherfive88: and when i said crisp
pantherfive88: it reminded me of you
chrispaul10: haha
pantherfive88: do u think of me when u eat eggs
chrispaul10: i dont eat eggs
pantherfive88: oh
pantherfive88: me either
chrispaul10: it would be like u were eating urself
pantherfive88: hahaha yeah sorta
chrispaul10: but not really
pantherfive88: yeah not really
pantherfive88: bc im not an egg
chrispaul10: ur an eg
pantherfive88: yes but not an egg
chrispaul10: true

My Aristocrat

Reenstra makes good first impressions..

johnny ARR: i was watching football the other day, and the commentator said "here's the kicker" and i was like GRANDMAS DEAD and my roomate looked at me like wtf
chrispaul1588: hahah good
johnny ARR: so i stabbed him in the heart
johnny ARR: err
chrispaul1588: so i think i just saw bob saget..
johnny ARR: lmfao
johnny ARR: where
chrispaul1588: walking around temple
johnny ARR: hahah
chrispaul1588: i walked right past him staring and he had that smirk on his face like 'yeah im the sag man'
johnny ARR: lmfao
johnny ARR: you should have started to hump the shit out of his leg
chrispaul1588: ...
johnny ARR: yea
johnny ARR: that would be sick

My First Five Minutes of Fame

Apparently I'm famous..

Tylerdixon32: hey who is this?
chrispaul10: chris who is this
Tylerdixon32: tyler
chrispaul10: i dont know u
Tylerdixon32: i know someone said this was a celebrtites sn
Tylerdixon32: and they have a crush on u or something
Tylerdixon32: lol
chrispaul10: ohh man
Tylerdixon32: im sorry
chrispaul10: i am a celebrity
Tylerdixon32: is u dont wanna talk to me i understand
Tylerdixon32: *if
chrispaul10: idc
Tylerdixon32: ok kewl
Tylerdixon32: im sorry but i have never heard of u what do u do?
chrispaul10: direct
Tylerdixon32: is that a tv show?
chrispaul10: no im a director
Tylerdixon32: o lol im 14 so i dont really know directors
chrispaul10: oh ok
Tylerdixon32: what have u directed
chrispaul10: nothing u would have heard of
Tylerdixon32: ok
chrispaul10: yeah
Tylerdixon32: do u know paris hilton
Tylerdixon32: like in person (just wondering)
chrispaul10: yeah ive talked to her
Tylerdixon32: thats hella sick
chrispaul10: yeah
chrispaul10: shes pretty cool
Tylerdixon32: yeah my friends sister met her and said that she was nice
Tylerdixon32: u live in hollywood?
chrispaul10: nope nj
Tylerdixon32: o kewl
Tylerdixon32: im from cali
Tylerdixon32: yeah i just went to the east coast for the first time at the beggining of this summer
chrispaul10: cool
Tylerdixon32: it is 2 oclock for u huh
chrispaul10: yeah
chrispaul10: i dotn sleep
Tylerdixon32: o
Tylerdixon32: lol
chrispaul10: yeah
Tylerdixon32: are you like hella rich?
chrispaul10: yes
Tylerdixon32: oic

Tylerdixon32: u back
Tylerdixon32: ur not famous r u?
chrispaul10: haha
Tylerdixon32: lol
Tylerdixon32: im so dumb
chrispaul10: yes you are

My First Day

We're straight as tooth picks, I swear it..

SuperBilly35: thanks for my dad's belt
SuperBilly35: but you still have one of mine
chrispaul1588: yes, and i need that sheet back too
SuperBilly35: right

Wedding singer Neil Kypers does Nat king Cole..

chrispaul1588: haha just take the mic n start singing
SaintKypers: hahaha exactly
SaintKypers: and everyone will cheer out of courtesy
chrispaul1588: heres how i see it goin on in my head...ull go up to the front and quiet everyone and start singing, no one will know who u are but will silently acknowledge that it sounds good, n once the song is over ull look over to me standing in the corner and ill nod my head and raise my glass of champagne to you
SaintKypers: hahaha that sounds awesome haha i love how u planned that out
chrispaul1588: lol i close my eyes and see it now
SaintKypers: haha i am seeing it too

Brudner thinks about me at night..

brudner1: i had a dream you were in that tops the one where you poop in basement
chrispaul1588: ...
brudner1: you were talking to some girl on your phone
brudner1: someone you didnt know too well
brudner1: and out of nowhere, you turn to me and say 'she wants a pube shot'
brudner1: and you stuck your phone down your pants
brudner1: i heard the phone's recorded fake shutter sound go off
chrispaul1588: lol why is it always me

Reenstra tries to be politically correct..

johnny ARR: know what i realized
johnny ARR: its colored people really
chrispaul1588: i look good naked?
johnny ARR: but black
johnny ARR: is the absence of all color, thinking artistically
johnny ARR: so black people aren't colored
chrispaul1588: haha, and white people are?
johnny ARR: the presence of all colors
johnny ARR: technically thats what black and white colors are
chrispaul1588: haha very true