My One Liner Week

I found a bunch of little conversations that were each too short for a real post, so for the next week will feature two quotes a day..

chrispaul1588: ur a doll
mike k oleary: better believe it
chrispaul1588: ...

johnny ARR: now saved by the smell featuring dustin "screech" diamond, in smell o vision
johnny ARR: thats quite an experience

My Next Four Years

Sorry Reen* but TU has no religious affiliation..

johnny ARR: hows the matzah and latkes at temple
chrispaul1588: they wouldnt let me in cuz i didnt cover my head
johnny ARR: oh you
johnny ARR: do you have a yamaka yet
chrispaul1588: yeah they gave them out with a big TU on the top
johnny ARR: lmfao

My Aristocrat

Reenstra makes good first impressions..

johnny ARR: i was watching football the other day, and the commentator said "here's the kicker" and i was like GRANDMAS DEAD and my roomate looked at me like wtf
chrispaul1588: hahah good
johnny ARR: so i stabbed him in the heart
johnny ARR: err
chrispaul1588: so i think i just saw bob saget..
johnny ARR: lmfao
johnny ARR: where
chrispaul1588: walking around temple
johnny ARR: hahah
chrispaul1588: i walked right past him staring and he had that smirk on his face like 'yeah im the sag man'
johnny ARR: lmfao
johnny ARR: you should have started to hump the shit out of his leg
chrispaul1588: ...
johnny ARR: yea
johnny ARR: that would be sick

My First Day

We're straight as tooth picks, I swear it..

SuperBilly35: thanks for my dad's belt
SuperBilly35: but you still have one of mine
chrispaul1588: yes, and i need that sheet back too
SuperBilly35: right

Wedding singer Neil Kypers does Nat king Cole..

chrispaul1588: haha just take the mic n start singing
SaintKypers: hahaha exactly
SaintKypers: and everyone will cheer out of courtesy
chrispaul1588: heres how i see it goin on in my head...ull go up to the front and quiet everyone and start singing, no one will know who u are but will silently acknowledge that it sounds good, n once the song is over ull look over to me standing in the corner and ill nod my head and raise my glass of champagne to you
SaintKypers: hahaha that sounds awesome haha i love how u planned that out
chrispaul1588: lol i close my eyes and see it now
SaintKypers: haha i am seeing it too

Brudner thinks about me at night..

brudner1: i had a dream you were in that tops the one where you poop in basement
chrispaul1588: ...
brudner1: you were talking to some girl on your phone
brudner1: someone you didnt know too well
brudner1: and out of nowhere, you turn to me and say 'she wants a pube shot'
brudner1: and you stuck your phone down your pants
brudner1: i heard the phone's recorded fake shutter sound go off
chrispaul1588: lol why is it always me

Reenstra tries to be politically correct..

johnny ARR: know what i realized
johnny ARR: its colored people really
chrispaul1588: i look good naked?
johnny ARR: but black
johnny ARR: is the absence of all color, thinking artistically
johnny ARR: so black people aren't colored
chrispaul1588: haha, and white people are?
johnny ARR: the presence of all colors
johnny ARR: technically thats what black and white colors are
chrispaul1588: haha very true