My Thoughts on Time Traveling Semen, well, Jay's Thoughts Mostly

This might be the weirdest conversation I've ever had..

Jay Emmanuel: haha whoa
Jay Emmanuel: blast from the past
Chris Paul1588: haha thats what she said
Jay Emmanuel: hahaha what does that mean? like interdimensional cumshots?
Chris Paul1588: yes
Jay Emmanuel: awesome
Jay Emmanuel: like jizzing into a tear in the space-time continuum and then it somehow hits someone from 20 years ago in the face
Chris Paul1588: or yourself..like imagine that, ya jizz into the air, it completely dissapears and hits you in the eye when you were a baby explaining why you're blind in one eye now
Jay Emmanuel: hahahaha bizarre!!
Jay Emmanuel: and it explains why you never had a dad cuz he got arrested for wacking off in a hospital onto his son.. cuz they couldn't figure out where else the jizz would've come from
Chris Paul1588: yes! oh wow it all makese sense, but you never make that connection, cuz how should you, as a 20 year old, figure out that dissapearing jizz equals a tear in the space time continuum
Jay Emmanuel: haha exactly!! what a crazy world
Chris Paul1588: but then you'd wonder where the jizz went and would become so obsessed with it because there was no clean up so you constantly tried to recreate that experience
Jay Emmanuel: but just ended up being crazy and no one would believe you and then that consumed the rest of your life til you were wacking off on street corners for money
Chris Paul1588: ugh this poor guy
Jay Emmanuel: what a sad life.. all because of a misdirected cumshot
Chris Paul1588: had it been millimeters to the left none of this would have happened, he'd have a working eye, his dad's reputation would have never went down the crapper..
Jay Emmanuel: incredible.
Jay Emmanuel: hahaha wait how did this start?
Chris Paul1588: you said blast from the past, i said thats what she said
Jay Emmanuel: right right
Chris Paul1588: but a blast from the past would mean that a 20 year old would be jizzing and then he'd have to hit his futureself
Jay Emmanuel: haha ohh right i guess we constructed a different story
Chris Paul1588: we did blast from the future
Chris Paul1588: not as catchy

My First Update in a While

Jay's Ridiculous..

Chris Paul1588: haha today i was thinking about how weird it would be if when we took a piss we could change how it came out like how u can change nozzle heads on a hose, mist would be awkward
Jay Emmanuel: hahaha mist would be unpleasant for all involved
Chris Paul1588: why is more than one party involved when you're pissing?
Jay Emmanuel: haha well if you're at a urinal and people are nearby they'd probably feel the spray cuz mist usually has a pretty large radius
Chris Paul1588: touche, that wasnt where i thought u were going with that
Jay Emmanuel: haha where'd you think i was going
Chris Paul1588: u were in the middle of a conversation with someone but had to piss so they just came in the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub as u pissed and they got a face full of urine mist
Jay Emmanuel: hahha who would
Jay Emmanuel: what
Jay Emmanuel: hahaha
Chris Paul1588: its best we move on

My Spring Semester

So here's a collection of some short quotes from this semester.

Chris Paul1588: dude i cant stop mouth washing my mouth
Bill O'Brien: with what?
Chris Paul1588: mouth wash

Bill O'Brien: so i visited jess last weekend
Chris Paul1588: bone city?
Bill O'Brien: awkward

Neil Kypers: we have spiders every where, later
Chris Paul1588: haha what

Chris Paul1588: haha ive been living off of nyquil and powdered energy today
Jay Emmanuel: hahaha chris that's terrible

Chris Paul1588: if you died, id take control of your myspace and then sell its space to advertisers to make a little profit
"Neil Kypers": thats ok i would want you to
Chris Paul1588: awesome
"Neil Kypers": im glad we have our deaths figured out
"Neil Kypers": ok im going out to roller blade later bro

horris16: and he squirted me in the face with a tarter sauce gun

Jay Emmanuel: 'anything for a few bucks' as in...?
Chris Paul1588: i turn tricks on the corner jay
Chris Paul1588: is that what u want to hear
Jay Emmanuel: yes

Neil Kypers: well yeah well if it was at night in a dark ally i dont care who gives me a bjer
Chris Paul1588: again, you're not like most people

Keil Nypers: i wish i could clean the world of people i hate
Chris Paul1588: haha what would the population be then? 13?
Keil Nypers: haha lets not go there

My Lucky Night

I wish this lame excuse was a lie..

chrispaul10: i know dude n i had to miss it for the stupidest reason
SuperBilly35: you were sick?
chrispaul10: no, i had to collect my pee in a jug for the hospital for 24 hours
SuperBilly35: hahahaha
chrispaul10: so i had to stay home to pee
SuperBilly35: rofl wow
SuperBilly35: be glad you wernt pissing at daves\
SuperBilly35: john clogged the toilet
SuperBilly35: it was weird
chrispaul10: lol i would have brought my jug
SuperBilly35: rofl
SuperBilly35: how much fucking piss did you need?
chrispaul10: 24 hours worth

My Singing Voice

I guess Pat's not a big Pink Floyd fan..

chrispaul10: ive know a mouse, he doesnt have a house i dont know why i call him gerald, he's getting rather old but he's a good mouse
tool ratm 4: WTF
tool ratm 4: WTF
tool ratm 4: WTF
tool ratm 4: WTF
tool ratm 4: WTF
tool ratm 4: are u healthy?
chrispaul10: are u?
tool ratm 4: chris...do u understand what u just said
chrispaul10: perfectly